


Inner Demons

by Douche_canoe



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Magnus is missing, Malec, No Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, alec is also sleep deprived, and the kids, help them, they all need help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:15:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28710318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Douche_canoe/pseuds/Douche_canoe
Summary: It's been a while and the clave made a joint decision to give up on the search for Alec Lightwood's husband and children, stopping Alec from doing any searching himself.Until one day, he gets a mysterious fire message.From Magnus.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo!
> 
> I've read all the books and am halfway through the series on Netflix so this is what happens when i come crashing back to a fandom

Alec lay on his back, his eyes drawn to the ceiling, distracting him from the cold, empty space in the bed next to him, where Magnus should have been.

His concsciousness lapped in and out like the hungry ocean at hightide, splashing over rocks and spilling over the previous tide line.

His sleep was the water, getting lighter and increasingly restless as it crept further inland until Alec could bare it no longer.

He launched upwards, panting, sweat beading on his forehead.

Alec took a deep breath and slid out of bed, padding softly to the bathroom, passing the makeshift nest on the floor, hastily crafted out of at least three blankets from Magnus' couch and a lot of cushions from God knows where.

He grimaced at it, pulling the bathroom door shut, trying to contain the haunted space behind the door.

Alec leant on the sink, making eye contact with his reflection.

His dark hair was tousled from restless nights.

His blue eyes were a dull grey.

Magnus would have made him get sleep.

But Magnus wasn't here.

His face was clammy with sweat.

His cheeks were flushed from being cacooned up to the chin in bed clothes, hoping to keep out the evil dreams and unwanted fantasies.

The search had been going on for months, so long that the clave had given up, after demoting Alec from his role as Inquisitor because of his 'personal involvement' with the case.

Basically, the clave didn't want rumors of their revered Inquisitor staying cooped up in his apartment, eating his sorrows out with ice cream.

Contrary to popular belief, that didn't help.

Alec looked away from the mirror, scared his reflection would start taunting him.

He had been sleeping on the floor in the bedroom for a while, hoping it would cease to remind him that his family was missing.

Jace had been trying to keep him in the loft whilst trying to keep his and Izzy's visits a secret although the excursions really weren't very secret.

Clary and Jace took turns to visit him, having to run an institute was apparently a lot more pressurising that Alec remembered.

His eyes were pulled back to the mirror, much to his dismay.

He looked blankly at the stranger standing before him, feeling the pent up anger swelling up inside him as the reflection's face twisted into of happiness and love, things Alec couldn't feel.

He took a deep breath.

Time seemed to slow down and every forced down memory floated back to the surface.


	2. An Iratze can only heal so much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow an actual title.  
> Also this chapter's pretty short but i have more planned and hopefully it's longer :)

Alec spent the next half an hour picking shards of glass out of his fist, wincing at his mauled hand.

Once all of it had been removed, he scrawled an iratze on his lower arm, watching as the slices slealed up, covering any traces that something had happened.

Except for the obviously shattered mirror.

But of course, Alec wasn't going to clear it up.

He stumbled to the kitchen, his eyes skipping over all the actual food and lingering on a decanter of Magnus' favourite gin cocktail.

He shook his head vigorously, his hand darting out to a stale brioche.

Alec studied the sweet bread before dropping it back on the counter, a fresh wave of emotion flooding over him.

He travelled into the lounge, collapsing on a satin blue armchair, accidentally kicking Chairman Meow who was curled up by the dying fire which Izzy had lit yesterday.

The cat looked up at him, mewling in disapproval before padding off, his tail stuck up rudely.

Suddenly a flash of amber glowed above Alec's face, a singed piece of paper floating down softly.

He plucked it out of the air and held it up, his eyes taking a moment to focus.

When they did, Alec could make out rushed words, incorporated with swirls and flicks rolling off the letters like a whole different language.

His heart did a little jump, his blood pounding.

**"Find Jem"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO NOT REGRET INCLUDING JEM AHDJAJDFHQWDHUSJD.


	3. Could you portal from your problems?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah another update.  
> should be doing art but ~no~

Alec paced the length of the lounge, passing his _Parabatai_ , Jace, who was standing in the doorway, his mouth opening and closing, trying unsuccessfully to say something.

"So, let me get this straight. Magnus sent you a fire message two months after he went missing literally only saying 'find Jem' as if those two words mean something?" Jace summed up incredulously.

"I- I guess? Although i think if Jem knew he would have said something sooner..." Alec stood still for a moment, only to continue pacing.

"Yeah... can you stand still?" Jace said, clearly irritated.

Alec itched to resume his lap around the room but forced himslelf to stay still.

"How does this sentance mean anything?" Jace cried, frustrated he didn't have any idea of how Jem Carstairs, an ex Silent Brother and if Alec was to be honest, niether did he.

"I'm not sure but i think i know what we should do..." He faltered, remembering there was no Warlock to help with the travel plans.

Jace sensed Alec's revelations and grimaced.

"Clary can get us there. We should be able to get you to the institute undetected although im not sure how long it'll be before the clave notice you're missing as well" 

Alec swallowed anxiously.

"We should get going then"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short parabatai to parabatai interaction and i'm going to upload the next chapter today anyways so even though they'll both be quite short there will be more :)


	4. Home couldn't be less sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here you go! *passes them the next chapter to malec mysteries*
> 
> Yeah i'm cringe, get over it.... i- i'm not going to change the title to that...

Once at the institute, Alec followed Jace through the familiar corridors and hallways until they reached a tall oak door, standing between him and the office.

Jace hastily tapped his knuckle on the door, watching Alec, arms folded, his face set in grave determination.

Alec felt a bubble of pride pop inside of him.

Jace was the best _Parabatai_ one could ask for and had always been there for him.

His suddenly found it difficult to swallow but was saved from Jace asking any questions because the door flew open, Clary standing in the threshold, her disheaveled red hair tumbling wildly down her shoulders.

She looked at the two boys with warm surprise and beckoned them inside.

"Alec!" she forced a smile for his sake, he own expression pained and stressed.

"Do you think you could portal us somewhere?" Jace cut in quickly, clearly wanting to hurry the procedures up a little

"Uh.. yeah. Why?" Clary asked, her _stele_ poised to draw a rune.

Jace swallowed uncomfortably and looked at Alec for confirmation to tell Clary although they both knew he would have told her anyways.

Alec nodded, listening to his _Parabatai_ fill Clary in.

She regarded Alec with sadness and started scrawling an unfamiliar rune in the air like one might draw for a fire message except this one spat and spun angrily until Clary gave it a shove and it propelled backwards, the ring of gold light expanding.

Jace gave Clary a brief kiss and stepped into the portal, the light surrounding him.

Alec went to follow but Clary caught his wrist, looking him in the eyes.

"You'll find them" she nodded, letting go.

Alec nodded, his mouth dry as he took the last step into the portal which closed behind him, swallowing any scrap of comfort left inside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter.  
> I have said in SO many fics that i would try make them longer but because I write them on my laptop, they look so short! 
> 
> Also you guys are really nice, just the comments i got in the first chapter were amazing so thank you all ^-^

**Author's Note:**

> WhY aM I sO bAd aT wRitInG lOnG cHaPtErS!?


End file.
